Don’t Be A Blamer!

Fresh Manna© by Pastor Tim Burt

Proverbs 17:9 “He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.”

One morning last week I was looking for a fairly sizable check that had come to us for storm damage. I couldn’t find it and started to get concerned. I found Renee and as we were discussing where it might be, I said, “Honey, I remember last giving it to you. You were going to put it in the bank.” It really took on the form of me blaming her even though I was trying not to blatantly do that. Because of my lead, we were both starting to become borderline anxious. I stopped myself and got quiet. I asked the Lord to help me remember our conversation and actions that would help me remember where the check was. Renee was digging around everywhere because I had put the pressure on her like it was her fault. Suddenly I remembered exactly what happened with that check! It was from the insurance company for the storm damage and the man doing the work on our house had asked for a payment. I endorsed the check over to him. I had previously told Renee that but we both forgot about it. I sheepishly walked into the bedroom and said, “Sorry honey. God just reminded me what I did with the check. I didn’t mean to blame you.” She was just her usual sweet self about it. I walked away thinking, “I did it again. Will I ever stop doing this?!”

Later that week I went to my men’s discipleship group at a local restaurant where we eat breakfast, study the Word of God and share and pray together. I told the guys the story. They all looked at me with a funny smile. Why? Because they all had their own stories of doing the same thing.

Girls, this isn’t just a guy thing. Renee has had her share of blaming that she’d admit to also. My impression from talking to numerous people is that this is a very human weakness that most fall prey to at different times. Something breaks, something goes wrong, we can’t find something, or life just isn’t going our way and we just want to blame someone – anyone other than ourselves.

When God sent Moses to deliver the children of Israel from Egypt, the people had seen a towering cloud by day and fire by night to lead them. God did this so that they would know He was with them. They had heard of and seen the miracle of the plagues against Pharaoh and the Egyptians. They had seen the Red Sea part and walked trough it. They had seen His power first hand. But when they were hungry, thirsty, tired, and whiny they began to blame. Do think we ever get that way?

They were whining to Moses blaming him for their present discomfort. Forget the fact that they were slaves that were beaten on a regular basis prior to leaving with Moses. Moses was just doing what He was told by God. But people can’t directly see God so they often blame those that represent God in the earth. Now they were hungry. They were whining about it. Was God really going to let them starve? Of course not! They just didn’t know how to trust Him. Finally Moses answered their blaming of him. Exodus 16:8 “The Lord will give you meat to eat in the evening and bread in the morning, for He has heard all your complaints against Him. Yes, your complaints are against the Lord, not against us.” (That was Moses way of saying, “Quit blaming us!!!)

People blame over and over in life. They get mad at God (which is the most stupid thing you can ever do) and they blame others for whatever is bothering them.

Employees get mad at bosses because of cut backs or changes needed to be made during economic downturns – something that neither boss nor employee is directly responsible for. The boss just has to find a way to manage it doing the best he can for the business and employees at the same time. The perception of how those decisions are formed and executed can easily be criticized and the blame can flow.

A doctor or surgeon is capable of making a mistake. Does this mean he’s careless or that the medical team was negligent? No but the legal industry can be a piranhas looking to blame and capitalize for any and every mistake. Soon greed ignores and supersedes compassion and human frailty.

We can’t control every second of our life so that it is free from displeasure. People accidentally make mistakes and do things that could possibly violate or hurt others but most of the time it would be incidental or accidental – definitely not maliciously intended. This is a part of every day life. If we allow ourselves to be offended over every minute’ issue, we will soon blame God, mankind, and the entire world and hate life itself.

God wants us to learn to take responsibility for our own actions. Quit being so quick to blame or even having the need to assign blame. Learn that there is blessing from these two admonishments from the Lord. Proverbs 19:11 “A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.” And today’s Fresh Manna verse, Proverbs 17:9 “He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.”

The point of these two verses is that there is great blessing in becoming one who doesn’t blame but overlooks and minimizes most could-be offenses. You can stop being a blamer – one who usually gives off the appearance of being a critical and faithless person that is an emotional reactionary. You need to honestly admit your own error if any and admit that you make mistakes too. You can instead learn to pause, pray, and ask the Lord at every uprising of anger and feeling of need to blame, to help you calm down and to reshape your attitude. Then you won’t make problems larger. You will instead be one who looks to be a part of the solution maintaining your love walk with God and a proper representation of Christ. It’s a goal and a process but a worthy one to pursue. I know my wife appreciates it!

His Love,
Pastor Tim Burt

Published by Pastor Tim Burt
Copyright© 2007
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