Winning in Marriage Part Ten

Fresh Manna© by Pastor Tim Burt

1 Peter 3:7 “Likewise, you husbands, dwell with them (your wives) according to knowledge…”

Many years ago, I tried investing in the stock market. If I were to be perfectly honest, I really didn’t know what I was doing. Oh, I understood the mechanics of how to, but didn’t really have the financial understanding of a companies value and balance sheet and the kinds of things that are necessary to know for prudent investing. That makes investing in the stock market in that case, more like gambling. You don’t invest in a company simply because you like their toothpaste. There are many other factors to understand. After getting burned pretty bad, I had two choices, get out and stay out or take the time to learn what I was doing. Renee wanted me to get out of investing on my own and I agreed. Our investing today is through a financial advisor.

Marriage can be very similar. I mean how hard are the mechanics? Get married and come home with your wife or husband, right? That may be the mechanics of it but marriage is anything but simply coming home with your marriage partner. That is why God through His Word tells us, “Likewise, you husbands, dwell with them (your wives) according to knowledge…” (1 Peter 3:7) This of course applies both ways. Guys, the word knowledge here is first referring to really taking the time to know and understand your wife. Understand what love means to her. Does it just mean sex? Of course not but some men act like it does. What are the things that contribute to helping your wife feel loved? Does it mean spending more quality time with her? Does it mean helping her around the house and with the kids? Does it mean sweet touches of affection such as a card or note or flowers? Does it mean that she desires the affirmation of respect and kind words of the love you so you have for her and expressing often how beautiful she is to you? (The answer to that one is absolutely yes and always!) Does it mean touches of affection? A pleasant greeting in the morning with a kiss (brush your teeth first) telling her you love her. Or a back rub (that doesn’t have to finish with sex.) Or a warm embrace when you come home leaving the days work behind you? Or your holding her hand while out for a walk or while walking through the shopping mall. These are all expressions of love to most women and help put love in the love bank.

When you live with your wife according to knowledge, it’s your job to a) find out which of these she cares most for and, b) execute them consistently at some level. It doesn’t have to be complicated. It can be simple and still produce great results. Take out a piece of paper and a pen and scribble a note saying, “I was thanking God for such a precious wife as you this morning.” How hard is that? How much did that cost? How long did it take to write that? How much value did it bring to your marriage? Far more than you could imagine. Oh yea, and if you haven’t figured out which of those touches of love your wife most appreciates, asking her is the best way to find out, but take note of this. Whichever of these touches of love she gives to you most often, is often what she herself really wants.

Of course this all applies in reverse to women toward their husband. Learn what He loves and learn to avoid what he hates or provokes him. Learn to adapt to what is important to him as he should learn to adapt to what is important to you. This is learning to dwell with your spouse according to knowledge.

Does the effort this take reap benefits for you? Absolutely! It helps keep your prayers from being hindered and sets you up to receive the promises of God’s blessing upon your life. 1 Peter 3:7 “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.“

If you have ever read through the blessing God has always wanted for His children in Deut. Chapter 8, they are highly motivating. I never wanted anything to get in their way. I did not want our inheritance hindered. Consequently it was imperative to me that we learn to flow in love, not strife. I worked hard on changing me. I worked hard on loving my wife. She worked hard in return. From where we have come feels like we’ve climbed Mt. Everest.

Tomorrow I’ll add the wrap up to all this and I pray that you will be patience with yourself, that you’ll lean on God’s strength and divine power, and that you’ll be diligent to pursue a great and godly marriage. God knows what He is doing and is trying to help us learn it. More tomorrow…

In His Love,
Pastor Tim Burt

Published by Pastor Tim Burt
Copyright© 2007 Tim Burt, All rights reserved.


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