“The Greatest Thing I Did Right While I Was Wrong!”

Fresh Manna 2009© by Pastor Tim Burt

Deuteronomy 4:29 “But if from there you shall seek the LORD your God, you shall find Him, if you seek Him with all your heart and with all your soul.”

When I turned 18 years old and moved out of the house, I began my journey of figuring out life. At that point in time, it was mostly focused on survival; how to furnish, provide for, and maintain my place to live and my car. Beyond that, the rest of my focus was dedicated to learning how to walk out this new freedom of no parental supervision and how to have as much fun as possible without killing myself. It was a journey – one I think most people go through in one way or another.

I grew up in a very “religious” environment. I am not saying that in a positive or negative way. I had just learned to go through religious motions even though I really didn’t understand them. I do remember as a boy and as a young man feeling a deep affection for God and wanting to really know Him. I just didn’t know how to make that happen and trying to maintain what felt like a one-way relationship was too difficult. I had never read a Bible. I did not even know Bible stories so I didn’t have that in my mind or history to affect my thinking. As a young adult, you so much want to be true to yourself and develop some meaningful philosophical view of life. That was my new quest.

It didn’t take long for me to want to ditch the concept of God because, as I said, it was too difficult to maintain a one-way relationship. If there was one, that was what if felt like. So, I began to allow myself to doubt God. I then began to verbalize that doubt. It didn’t take long before I began to philosophize that doubt into my first attempt at professing atheism.

That seemed good and sounded good for a while. It surely released me from any guilt. Once I was released from God guilt, I only had to deal with the guilt others tried to impose on me. I learned how to philosophize and deal with that also – for a while. The problem with being an atheist was that even as I talked about it, I didn’t really believe it. Somehow, I knew deep down in my heart that there was a God. I only had to look at the beauty of creation to know that. I didn’t really know what being an agnostic meant so I couldn’t use that term until I understood it. Once I did, I shifted my philosophy and words to accommodate that.

There is much more to tell, but what I really wanted to get to was this: deep down I always knew there was a God but I didn’t know how to know Him. The greatest thing I did right while I was thinking wrong was to stop saying there is no God. My heart knew there was; I just had to find Him. I stopped saying there was no God and I sought for Him. I would ask others and tell others, “I know there has to be a God,” but then I’d add all my crazy philosophies that I’d figured out.

This was the greatest thing I ever did right while I was thinking wrong. It was important because it kept the door of not denying God open while seeking Him actively in my heart. Even while I was living like the devil, I’d be thinking “There has got to be a God.”

One day, everything came together and the Lord put the right person in my path that helped the lights come on for me. I discovered who Jesus really was. I found out I could have a personal relationship with Him; that it wasn’t a one-way experience. It changed my life forever.

There are many people out there today that have grown up with what they would view as a religious life more than a relationship with God. They haven’t had their personal encounter with the Creator and Savior of their life. They want to know the truth. They want to do what is right. They just haven’t gotten to that point yet. Whoever you are, I don’t judge you. I understand you. I was there. My prayer is that during this time, you’ll do the right thing as I did. Don’t deny God – seek Him! Ask Him to reveal Himself to you. For He promises this to you; Deuteronomy 4:29 “But if from there you shall seek the LORD your God, you shall find Him, if you seek Him with all your heart and with all your soul.”

If you do this, I can assure you that one day you will have met God. He put the desire for you to know Him in your heart. He will lead you to Himself. And when that happens, it won’t be your parent’s or priests, or pastor’s experience. It will be your own! I pray for that wonderful day to come. I promise to do my best in not judging you while you continue your journey and quest! And don’t be mad when I say this but… Jesus is who you will encounter in the quest. That’s for you to find out!

In His Love,
Pastor Tim Burt