by Pastor Tim Burt
If you are anything like me, you may find yourself struggling for adequate words of thanksgiving to the Lord for His love, mercy, and forgiveness. The Lord’s forgiveness, willingness, and desire to give us a fresh start is amazing! His love transcends our stupidity and He keeps reaching out to love us!
We all mess up at times—hopefully much less as we grow older and learn from the Lord. What do we do when we mess up our lives from sinful behavior, bad attitudes, or from anger and it’s consequences? To the non-Christian, the answer will be—start at the beginning. Ask Jesus to be Lord of your life, to forgive your sins, and to fill you with His Holy Spirit. Then go find a Bible teaching church, read your Bible, and make some Christian friends. That would be a great start!
To the Christian who feels ashamed for messing up more times than would seem forgivable… Learn what godly sorrow is! 2 Corinthians 7:10 NIV says, “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.” The words “…repentance that leads to salvation” comes from the Greek word soteria which conveys the meaning of being rescued and bringing restoration, health and wholeness from a troubled situation. The words “worldly sorrow brings death” are conveying the pain felt not from sorrow of the action, but from the trouble it’s caused. That’s worldly sorrow and it conveys this as unrepented sorrow likely to be repeated again and again, and leading to further problems and eventually spiritual death.
My experience and observation from 37 years of ministry has taught me that there are a number of Christians, who when they mess up, only regret their trouble—not their sin! For example, I’ve known men and women that have had an affair. They’ve been caught but their sorrow is over the problems it’s causing them. They weren’t really sorry about violating God’s Word or the people they hurt. In some cases, they actually thought about staying with the person they’d gotten into an affair with, without regard for what God’s word says about it, or the pain caused to their spouse, children, or other family members. Just remember that the word Christian can be a tag a person can call oneself, but it doesn’t necessarily hold water with God. It’s not up to me to judge the person. God is their judge. But, the Lord does say this in 1 John 2:3-4 NIV, “We know that we have come to know Him if we obey His commands. The man who says, “I know Him,” but does not do what He commands is a liar, and the truth is not in Him.” This verse helps us understand that there has to be corresponding actions to our faith.
If a person continuously sins without godly sorrow, without regard for God’s word or for the hurt and pain they cause others, then the enemy of his soul will try to draw them into a darker and darker place. Some become so blinded that they lose all regard for God’s word and what’s right. They’ve traded them for pleasures and lusts of his flesh. God does not control or manipulate us. He works to lead us to Himself by influencing our spirit to draw near to and yield to His love and influence. If we refuse, He allows us to make that choice, even when it could take us to darkness and destruction. Romans 1:24 NIV says, “Therefore God also gave them over to sinful desires of their own hearts…”
A question frequently comes from Christians who want to help their friends in this wayward state. My Christian friend appears to have no godly sorrow. Should I reach out to them? You can try to speak to them but their heart may be hard and they may not listen. It takes time to pray for the hardness of their heart. Their spirit has been blinded by sin and they CANNOT see the spiritual truths and implications that you see! God compares it to hard or fallow ground. Rain just rolls off this kind of ground. Unless the ground becomes saturated with rain it will not soften. Likewise a hard heart unless saturated with consistent and constant prayer will remain hard. Hosea 10:12 NKJV says, “… break up your fallow ground: for it is time to seek the LORD, till He comes and rains righteousness upon you.” For this person, it would take consistent sacrificial prayer over time! Can you be that friend?
Some ask, Is it right to pray for a person living like this? Yes it is right to pray for someone who has gone astray and messed up. Especially if you know they aren’t evil—just lost! 2 Timothy 2:24-26 (NLT2) “A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people. Gently instruct
those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people’s hearts, and
they will learn the truth. Then they will come to their senses and escape from the devil’s trap. For they have been held captive by him to do whatever he wants.” As the Apostle Paul said, it’s good to pray for the eyes of their heart to be opened. “I Cease not to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers; that…the eyes of your understanding being enlightened…” Ephesians 1:16-18 NKJV
When a person shows no godly sorrow, it is sometimes best to love and pray for them from a distance. Your heart-felt prayer should and will create expectation and hope within you for their change, but despite your prayers, they have free will to choose. When they don’t change, it can be disappointing. If you just go forward with your life and pray for them with distance in the relationship, it can help protect you from that disappointment and actually help you stay in faith in your prayers. You’ve heard stories about praying mothers… I want you to know there are just as many praying fathers! Don’t judge those that have gotten off course. Jesus loves them and died for them. Don’t preach condemnation to them. If you say anything, remind them only of Jesus’ love. They already know the condemnation part. That’s what they are running from. Pray for them and be ready to be just like the prodigal father waiting to love them when the day comes that they return to the Lord.
And if this isn’t about someone else, but about you, get on your knees and tell the Lord how sorry you are and ask Him to strengthen you to do what is right. He’ll answer and help you in many ways. Real sorrow cares and wants to do what’s right! Let love for Him strengthen those desires!
Romans 6:16 (NLT) “Don’t you realize that you become the slave of whatever you choose to obey? You can be a slave to sin, which leads to death, or you can choose to obey God, which leads to righteous living.”
In His love,
Pastor Tim Burt
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Published by Pastor Tim Burt
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12 thoughts on “When A Christian is Not Right With God”
Thank you so much Pastor Tim. Since we no longer live under the law anymore, can we still have a concept of right and wrong? If so, please, where in the Scriptures to read about what is right and what is wrong?
Teddy, the entire New Testament is filled with scriptures on how we should live out our life in Christ! Unless you are not reading your Bible, you cannot help but see them.
Thank you so much for this article. It answered many questions I have been struggling with. Five years ago, God called me to pray for an unrepentant Christian. I have always viewed this calling as a partnership between God and myself for this person. I have been faithful with fervent, effectual prayer each and every day. In five years there have been no victories in praying for this individual. In fact he is in a far worse state than he was 5 years ago. I began to blame God that he wasn’t doing his part and Satan jumped on my disappointment and blame as Satan wants to keep this individual in bondage. God has always communicated to me that he was answering my prayers but yet no evidence. Anyway this article was wonderful. I overlooked God’s consistent view on our free will. How terrible when a born again Christian tramples on God’s grace everyday and refuses to repent. But God reminds me that my sin is as black as his with the only exception being that I accept his grace and forgiveness. Anyway, after reading this wonderful article I will once again pick up my weapons and fight the battle with God for this individual. Thank you again!
I encourage you to never give up praying for loved ones. Our prayers result in the message of salvation crossing their path again and again. We cannot overpower someone free will but we can pray for the message of God’s grace and love to be presented before them again and again. The prodigal son had his moment when he came to himself and realized what he was doing and this is our prayer for all those who have not accepted Jesus. God bless you for your wonderful comments and insight!
To “A Burdened Christian”: Thank you so much for the comment you wrote. I have read it over and over in the last several months as every word of it could have been written by me. God called me to pray for an unrepentant Christian 7.5 years ago and despite being 100% faithful to the call, I too have had no victories and seen absolutely no answer to prayer. God also tells me he is answering my prayers, but no change whatever. The burden to pray for this individual is intense and I believe there is nothing I desire more than this individuals repentance.
I hope by now you have experienced a spiritual breakthrough with your individual. Anyway, also thank you so much Pastor Tim for giving both of us an understanding of the situation. Have also re-read your fine article many times.
Praise God! I am so thankful it touched your heart and I hoped moved you forward to your closer place with God!
God bless you!
This words are detailed and indeed the truth, thanks
Great words of love and life. This is GOD’s word, it doesn’t condemn, it brings only Hope. Thank you pastor. I pray GOD will favour you and bless you more and more. Amen
Pastor tim, this article is very timely for me right now because my elder brother whose non-believer suddenly left his wife and kids for another woman and as a christian I was reaching out to him but as you said “they are blinded” because he wont accept any advice. Now I know what must I do and its loving and praying for him from a distant. Thank you very much..God bless you and your ministry.
Thank you Christie, for reading and for your kind words! Pray for your brother because God is using you to keep him from going off a cliff! God bless you!
Pastor Tim …this convicted me. I’m a Christian but over the past few months I’ve severely neglected my relationship with God and got to the point where I was so immersed in my school & work life that I did not care to make time for God. Reading through this, I felt a strong conviction that I need to turn things around and go back to that secret place. The verse you quoted from Hosea hit home hard. Thanks for writing this. God bless you.
Your welcome Kevin and I praise God that it touched your heart and brought you closer to Him! God bless you!