Bringing Your Best Love Home

Fresh Manna
by Pastor Tim Burt

“You’re kinder to strangers than to your own family.”

Have you ever heard something like that? I did, several years ago—from my wife. At first, I was shocked and upset she would even suggest such a thing. After all, I was a pastor…a man of God…a shining example of Christ-like love and virtue. But the more I thought about it and began to examine my behavior patterns, the more I realized she was right.

To the rest of the world, I was patient, compassionate, and even called selfless by many people. But to my wife and children, I was often something less than those things.

In her eyes, I may have been giving my best love to others, but I was definitely not bringing my best love home. At first, those words caught me off guard. I had to pause and think about what she was saying.  And then I could see that she was right. I was convicted and disappointed in myself. After some time in prayer and reflection, God began to deal with me about taking my family for granted. He said, “You need to bring your best love home. Because if you’re not bringing your best love home, you’re living a hypocritical love in front of your wife and children.”

In the years since that disturbing revelation, I’ve discovered I was not the only one who was “Mr. Gracious” to everyone at work and “Mr. Grouchy” once they stepped across the welcome mat and through the front door.

Every day, believers throughout the body of Christ fall into the trap of thinking that, once they’re home, they no longer need to extend the kind of courtesy and grace we offer automatically in the work and marketplace.

Though we would hate to admit this, I think it’s fair to say that our loved ones most often receive the lowest output of our love and affection. They’re the ones with which we are the least careful in expressing ourselves. And frequently, they’re the ones to whom we’re the least polite and patient. And when that is true, then sadly, our children often begin to reflect some of those same traits.

When we consistently shortchange our loved ones at home yet extend love to the rest of the world, we’re merely walking in the attributes of love, not the true revelation of love. In Romans 12:9, the Bible says, “Love must be sincere.” 

In the world, people often love because they are motivated by something they want. They’re looking for something in return. For example, perhaps you’re nice to your not-so-nice boss because he controls your paycheck. So, you put on the attributes of love to please your boss so you’ll get a paycheck. It’s a transaction.

In 1 John 4:10, we discover that genuine love is based on a different type of transaction. 1 John 4:10 (NLT): “This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.”  

As we see in this verse, the focus is on love given, not love received! The Bible says, “Yet while we were yet sinners, He loved us.” That is so powerful. He loved us when we could have cared less about Him. That is love! Love is pure, and it gives! And true love in its purest form comes from a revelation of God’s love for us. Like Jesus, It loves first regardless of others love back. He died for all! Even those who hated Him.

The world portrays love as an elusive emotion. You meet somebody, and the sparks fly, the adrenaline flows, the chemistry gels, and there’s such passion that you cannot stand to be away from that person for a second. The problem with this type of love is that it is temporary and fleeting. You fall in it and out of it.

That kind of love is also a discriminating love. It chooses whom it will and won’t favor. But the Bible says that as God loved us, so should we love one another. With every encounter, we need to remember that God loves that person.

If this is true where our day-to-day acquaintances are concerned, it’s doubly true at home. When you think of your family, you need to say in your heart: “I know God loves everybody I’m dealing with today, but He loves my family just as much, and they’re the first ones I’ve been given care over. My first responsibility is to them. God loves each family member, and they are mine! God loves them, and I’d better take good care of them. My family is God’s property.”

Practicing that kind of love will change you. At the same time, it will transform your home into a more peaceful refuge and will naturally spill over into all your outside relationships.

The next time you walk through the door after a tiring and challenging day, remember the message of 1 John 4:7-8 (TLB): “Dear friends, let us practice loving each other, for love comes from God and those who are loving and kind show that they are the children of God, and that they are getting to know Him better. But if a person isn’t loving and kind, it shows that he doesn’t know God—for God is love.”

Make it a point to bring your best love home every day. Do so, and you’ll find that your home life is a joy and refuge that also helps you bring sincere love to the hurting world around you!

In His love,
Pastor Tim Burt

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