Renee and I celebrated 46 years of marriage this past September, and I can honestly say we have a wonderful marriage because of God alone.
Our marriage did not start out strong. In fact, it began rocky and unstable. Why? Because we were young, immature, and selfish. Today, however, we have what I would call the marriage of my dreams. That doesn’t mean it’s perfect—we still have moments like anyone else—but for the most part, we enjoy the kind of marriage we once only hoped for. We deeply love each other, admire one another, serve one another, and joyfully serve the Lord together.
What moved us from one end of that spectrum to the other was simple but profound: keeping God at the center of our lives and prioritizing both our relationship with Him and with each other.
Jesus meant exactly what He said:
Matthew 6:33 (NKJV) “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.”
Taking that exhortation seriously is what transformed our marriage.
Over the years, raising four children, managing demanding jobs, and handling everyday responsibilities required us to live with structure and discipline. We didn’t see this as restrictive or legalistic. It simply meant choosing what mattered most over things that distracted us or slowly eroded what was important.
We also knew our limitations—our weaknesses, blind spots, and lack of wisdom. Without God, those would have led us to failure. But we knew something else: God’s grace and the Holy Spirit lived within us, supplying wisdom, strength, and help beyond our own abilities.
Jesus said it plainly: John 15:5 (NIV) “…apart from Me you can do nothing.”
Because we believed that, we worked together to keep the Lord and His Word first place in our lives—especially through prayer. Instead of carrying burdens that produce fear and anxiety and often turn couples against one another, we learned to give those burdens back to God.
Psalm 55:22 (NIV) “Cast your cares on the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall.”
1 Peter 5:7 (NIV) “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.”
Structure and discipline became essential—not just in healthy habits like eating and exercise, but more importantly in how we stayed close to the Lord. We prayed together regularly. We attended church faithfully and served consistently. We gave tithes and offerings. We built relationships with other believers through fellowship and small groups.
We didn’t do these things to earn God’s favor—His grace is a gift. We did them because they kept our hearts aligned with Him and left little room for distractions that didn’t truly matter. Far from feeling deprived, our lives and marriage became richer.
Within those priorities, we learned to give God His part—trusting Him with what we could not control.
Philippians 4:6 (NIV) “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”
God also used community—other believers who loved Him—to speak into our lives, keep us grounded, and encourage growth. Many of the miracles we experienced happened within those relationships.
Another vital part of our marriage was intentional communication. We made time to talk—on walks, over coffee, on simple dates or special evenings. We prayed together and laughed together. We knew neglecting those moments would slowly erode our connection.
Marriage is a gift, but it is also work. It works when pride and selfishness are laid down again and again. It works when couples remember they need God’s help. It works when His Word guides decisions and resolves conflict.
A God-built marriage is a beautiful thing. It blesses the couple and produces fruit for His Kingdom.
So seek Him first. Put Him first. And prioritize loving one another.
That threefold cord—husband, wife, and Jesus—makes all the difference.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NIV) “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
