Fresh Mannaby Pastor Tim BurtKids think and say things that make us laugh! I thought a little humor might do you some good! Have a blessed weekend! HONESTYMy son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking momentarily, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too, then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.NUDITYI was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in a convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seatbelt!"OPINIONSOn the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."KETCHUPA woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the bottle. During her struggle, the phone rang, so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer it. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."MORE NUDITYA little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room shrieked, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter? Haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"POLICEIt was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring at me. "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally, he said, "What'd he do wrong?"
ELDERLYWhile working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers, and wheelchairs. One day, I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"DEATHWhile walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, the pastor heard the voice of a child praying, realizing it was his 5-year-old son. He and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made it ready to put into the ground. The minister's son was chosen by his friends to say the appropriate prayer, and in his attempt to sound dignified like his father and pray, he said, "Glory be the Father, and unto the Son..... and into the hole he goes."SCHOOLA little girl older than her age had just finished her first week of kindergarten. school. She stomped into the living room and plopped down on the couch with a dramatic sigh. Her mother, amused, asked, "How was your first week of school, honey?" The little girl threw her hands up and said, "It was terrible! I can't read, I can't write, and do you know what else?" Her mother leaned in, curious, "What else?" The girl huffed and said, "They keep making me take a nap. I don't need any beauty sleep! And don’t get me started on snack time – one cookie? Seriously? I need at least three to function!"BIBLEA little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible; he picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out." What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"Proverbs 17:22: "A cheerful heart is good medicine…"In His love,Pastor Tim Burt
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