Decisions, decisions, decisions. We all have to make them every day. Some seem inconsequential, others life-changing, and most somewhere in between. Some decisions are hard to make. Others are hard to live with afterward.
You may have prayed, thought carefully, and done what you believed was right. Yet your mind keeps returning to the same questions: What if I misunderstood? What if I should have waited? What if I let something good slip away? The decision is behind you, but the questions keep following you.
I remember facing a decision like that before I met Renee. I had been dating a woman I thought I might marry. But the more time we spent together, the more I realized how differently we had been raised and how differently we thought about life. I came to believe we were incompatible, including in ways that mattered deeply to me spiritually. So I broke up with her. It was painful because I still had feelings for her. My heart did not suddenly agree with the decision even though I knew why I had made it.
About six months later, I met Renee. As I got to know her, I recognized how wonderfully compatible we were. I honestly believe she was the best gift Jesus ever gave me after my salvation through Jesus Christ. A year later, she became my wife, and looking back, I am deeply grateful I did not let the pain of that earlier breakup persuade me to return to a relationship I knew was wrong for me.
Our hearts can long for something that is not right for us. That is why, when we face a difficult choice, we need to quiet ourselves before the Lord and seek His wisdom. “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” James 1:5 (NIV) I did exactly that. I prayed about who to marry and the Lord spoke to my heart. He said, "Tim, if you married your old girlfriend would you continue to follow me?" In an instant, I knew the answer and responded to the Lord. "Lord, I know I wouldn't because she doesn't believe in you nor want to hear about you." And then the Lord said, "And if you marry Renee?" Again, I knew the answer instantly. "Lord, I know that with Renee, we will both pursue our life together in you with all our heart!" And the Lord replied, "And there is your answer!"
That does not mean every decision will become easy. You may need to pray, look honestly at the facts, consider what Scripture teaches, and listen to mature people you trust. Then you must make the wisest choice you can. Sometimes your feelings will take longer to catch up.
This reaches far beyond relationships. A person can leave a job for good reasons and still miss the people there. Someone can choose one college or career path and keep wondering about the other. A necessary decision may involve giving up something genuinely good. Feeling that loss does not, by itself, mean the decision was wrong.
If you discover you made a mistake, you can acknowledge it and ask God what to do next. But if you have examined your decision honestly, replaying it night after night may only deepen the hurt. At some point, you have to entrust both your choice and the unanswered questions to the Lord. And He cares about the pain involved. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” Psalm 34:18 (NLT) You can tell Him, “Lord, I still miss what I left behind. Help me hear Your voice more clearly than the questions in my mind.”
You may have to pray that again tomorrow. Keep bringing your thoughts back to Him. He can help you grieve what was lost while still moving forward in faith. As long as you sincerely seek the Lord and pray about your decisions, you will get most of them right.
“You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!” Isaiah 26:3 (NLT)
Prayer: Dear Lord, give me wisdom when a decision is before me and peace when a difficult decision is behind me. Help me be honest about my feelings without letting them drown out Your guidance. Heal what hurts, quiet the questions I cannot answer, and help me trust You with my next step. In Jesus’ name, amen.
