We all experience conflicts that stir anger. I’m no different. Over the years, both biblically and through personal experience, I’ve learned that anger—when left unchecked—can be poisonous and destructive. We all process it differently, but most of us have faced that frustrating “video loop” in our mind. The conflict replays over and over as we try to think it through, each run-through stirring the same emotions again. A conflict that isn’t resolved God’s way becomes a conflict recycled in the mind.
Jesus knew we’d face these looping moments. That’s why He gave Peter such striking instructions about forgiveness.
Matthew 18:21–22 (NLT) — “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?’ ‘No, not seven times,’ Jesus replied, ‘but seventy times seven!’”
Jesus wasn’t saying we’d face 490 separate offenses in one day. Instead, He was addressing the way one single offense can replay in our thoughts endlessly—sometimes hundreds of times, especially late at night when the quiet leaves us alone with our mind. Those loops can feel torturous. We try to shut them down, but they keep rolling.
This is one of the many places where God’s gift of tongues has been an incredible blessing in my life. When I find myself caught in a conflict loop, instead of rehearsing it again and again, I turn to praying in tongues. Something powerful happens when I do: the presence of God rises within me, and the thoughts of conflict are pushed out. Peace begins to take the place of turmoil.
I always need God’s counsel, but when I’m in conflict, I feel desperate for it. I’ve seen how quickly things can go off the rails when handled poorly. When I pray in the Spirit, it’s as though God clears my vision. I begin to see the situation more honestly, more humbly.
Romans 8:26 (NLT) — “And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.”
Praying in tongues is like using a fire extinguisher. It shuts down the fiery loops of conflict, quiets my mind and heart, and brings calm. Pride melts away like ice on a hot pan. Humility rises like a balloon catching the wind. Instead of defending myself, I find myself examining myself. And in that place, God often shows me whether I need to forgive—or even ask forgiveness.
That’s why I’m sharing this. Because when you pray in the Spirit, God’s presence can meet you in a very real and supernatural way—especially in conflict.
Jude 1:20 (NIV) — “But you, dear friends, by building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit.”
