We have clearly entered a new season of time when it comes to cultural behavior. For years, modern society prided itself on leaving behind unruly, barbaric actions and speech, believing we were becoming more restrained, more appropriate, and more respectful toward one another. Most people today would agree—we’ve gone backward.
Social media has certainly played a role. It has given people a public voice they never had before, and hiding behind fake names has created a boldness that allows some to say and do whatever they want without consequence. I’ve said and written for some time that culture is not meant to define Christianity or how God wants us to live. Rather, we as Christians are called to be a restraining force on culture by showing a better way—beginning with ourselves.
I don’t know anyone whose tongue hasn’t gotten them into trouble at some point in life. Mine certainly has. Before I became a Christian, I believed my tongue was completely uncontrollable. Scripture taught me differently. I learned that while I cannot tame my tongue on my own, God desires to help me control it through the power of the Holy Spirit—the only One who can.
James 3:8–10 (NIV) “But no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.”
James goes on to explain just how powerful and dangerous the tongue can be.
James 3:3-6 NIV tells us more about this untamable thing. It says, "When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell." "...No man can tame the tongue."
If the tongue is truly this unruly, then what can we possibly do? The first step is to recognize this truth and come to grips with it: none of us can fix our tongue on our own. God is not lying or exaggerating when He says that no one can tame it. He is simply stating a spiritual reality.
At the same time, we must understand that God is not setting us up to fail. The answer to taming the tongue begins with recognizing that only with the help of the Holy Spirit can it be brought under control. The Holy Spirit works in several ways to help us, but I want to focus on just one of them today.
Proverbs 18:21 (NIV) “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”
God’s Word tells us plainly that we will eat the fruit of our words. In other words, we will experience the consequences of what we say—whether good or bad.
Ask the Holy Spirit to help you become aware of the destructive words or phrases that so easily spill out of your mouth. Statements like: He’s never going to change. I’m stuck in this situation and there’s nothing I can do about it. Nothing ever goes my way. I’m never going to find the right person to build a life with. There just aren’t any good men left. And the list goes on.
Words like these reveal more than frustration—they reveal our thinking, and ultimately the condition of our faith. If we pray for one outcome but consistently speak the opposite, doesn’t that expose a disconnect between our prayers and our beliefs? Faith cannot thrive where our words contradict what we claim to trust God for.
What is in your heart will always come out of your mouth through that uncontrollable creature called the tongue. The words you speak are containers of power. They spill out of you and either bless or contaminate your world—and they can even influence your health.
Proverbs 12:18 (NIV) “The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”
Because our words affect everything, we must learn to guard our hearts and choose our words carefully.
Proverbs 4:23 (NIV) “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
That is true whether we believe it or not. Your mouth is the barometer of your heart. It reveals what your faith truly expects and what your body and life are likely to experience.
Don’t destroy your own life—and don’t destroy others with your words. Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to help you understand the power of words. Then begin listening to what you say. You will fail—I promise you. But let those failures push you into deeper dependence on the Lord. When you lean on Him, you will sense His grace and His help restraining your tongue, and you will be grateful for it.
Walking this road leads to real transformation—and to a life marked by greater blessing.
Proverbs 15:4 (NIV) “The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.”
